“Enjoy the summer!” I hear on the radio when I start my car. I mumble softly: “How about not!”, while I feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. During Summer you’re suppose to have those summer vibes, like being overly cheerful and happy, getting a tan, spending days on the beach or barbecuing in the garden. It doesn’t matter if the neighbour is enjoys the smell of your cremated pork steak. Also not being able to sleep at night because of the many jolly drunken people on the street who stumble home after the umpteenth garden party. Still, even if you leave out all those annoying factors, there are still the hot nights, that sound sexier than they actually are, and the eternal shrill buzzing of the mosquito that you never seem to be able to catch.
No, I am clearly not a fan of Summer. Never have been, never will be. I love Autumn, the beautiful colours, the crispy air, the wonderful smell in the forest. The weather is fickle and unpredictable; one moment it can be wonderfully sunny and the next moment you’re caught in a rainshower or a storm. The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer and cooler. Autumn is definitely the season I look forward to all year long.
The hot summer months always have had an impact on my body. I usually explain it in a way to people hoping they would understand when I tell them my internal thermostat is broken because my body can’t regulate my body temperature like others. When it is hot, I cannot get rid of the heat and my body overheats. When it is cold, I only warm up by seeking warmth such as hot tea, a hot shower or a hot water bottle. You might now understand that hot summers are really stressful for my body. In addition to that, hay fever season also starts with the first rays of sunshine. Not something to look forward to.
As if that wasn’t enough to make me dislike the hot weather, this year I got an extra challenge. As the temperature rises, the pressure in my brain also increases. I am still recovering from a CSF leak. Although the blood patch was successfully placed eight months ago, my brain is still far from healed. As the temperature rises, the pressure in my brain also increases, resulting in an indescribable headache that cannot be cured. Painkillers don’t work. They actually make it worse. So while the rest of the Netherlands is enjoying the hot weather, I lie in a dark room hoping that it will rain soon.
Yesterday the first drops fell, from the sky and from my eyes because for the first time I finally felt the pressure drain from my head. For a moment it doesn’t feel as if my skull could explode any second. For a moment I feel normal again. Until the sun breaks through and the pressure rises. In the meantime, the weathermen on TV say that summer is really over. I hope so. I sincerely hope so. Not because I don’t wish you your summer, but because I just want to feel good again.
If you happened to hear me grumbling about Summer, now you know why. Let Autumn come. Dark days, hot chocolate with whipped cream, gingerbread and a warm blanket together with the cat on the couch. I’m already looking forward to it!